Dave the Jerk

What the f*ck?

Posted May 7, 2008 in Project Cobra:Week 2/3

Cobra was at the bar once again this time with out me. Throughout the night apparently a victim had been eyeing him. Turns out she came up to him and gave him her number. She left. He left. He then called her and went to her pad. This is where shit gets f*cked up. Basically she just wants to f*ck, and Cobra doesn't and he has good reason not to. This girl has been A ROUND. Cobra actually asked her how many, she said she was in the 3 digit range. So I applaud you Cobra, smart move. You shoulda still threw it in her for good measure, get some herpes or gonorrhea.

Intro to Cobra

Posted April 26, 2008 in Project Cobra:Week 1

As you all know Project Cobra commenced earlier this week. Heres a little background info on Cobra

Cobra is a 22 year old male

Cobra exemplifies the "classic nice guy" persona

Cobra only gets laid with luck, and super hard begging

Cobra has decent looks, from a guy to guy perspective, and does attract women, but in the end, Cobra doesnt have balls

Here we are one week ago on a Friday night, we were at a local bar with some friends we met recently. Low and behold, cut to the chase, some drunk friend of someone we were with wanted to "do" Cobra. Heres some dialogue or what I remember:

Cobra:"Dude that chick wants to bang!"

Davethejerk: "So do it then."

Cobra: "But then she wont leave me alone, she'll call me all the time and shit."

Davethejerk: "Who f*ckin cares, just stop being a giant vag."

So through out the week, she finds Cobra on Myspace, requests Cobra, Cobra does not accept(as he is terrified). We go to a different bar so that we dont run into her. Talk about vagina dentata. Google that if you wanna laugh. Does it really matter if she looked like a cracked out version of gnarls barkley with long hair? No he should have f*cked her. For f*cks sake Cobra. Were gonna grow you some balls soon enough.

Project Cobra

Posted April 23, 2008 in Project Cobra:Week 1